start up’s – family
Do you think your relationship is strong? The type of bond that could never be brought down? Are you truly a team?
Well, starting a business will test you and your relationship on every single level.
Several key areas which to focus:
- money
- time: spouse and kids
- presence
MONEY
Money is typically the number one argument amongst married couples. Unfortunately, it is this one perceptual need for our lifestyle attainment goals. This fight for money is most definitely less pleasant than being tossed into a box full of jagged shards.
So to test your relationship, throw away your high salary, paid benefits, vacation and cushy schedule, then see if you still wake up with a smile 1-2 years later; like that doe eyed entrepreneur you once were.
Some great advice I received in the last year, when our income was at a very low point and we could not figure any other expenses to alleviate (a side from moving into a card board box) was to “turn toward”. Your better half is surly going through this with you and just because they do not see the negative bank account or answer the creditor’s calls, doesn’t mean they are not feeling your pain. It is pretty amazing being connected to someone that can simply know you through their subconscious.
Every tried to keep a secret? Your body language, conversation, attitude and perception give you away every time.
“Everybody knows everything”. The sooner you learn this statement to be true, the better life becomes, because your focus can narrow to a laser without taking up space with life’s clutter.
Do I really need this? Live by this statement for a couple of years; it will help keep the pain at bay.
Maintaining your even keel upon facing the inevitable cash flow anxieties is like walking the plank to meet the ocean depths of uncertainty. Some things that help are good diet and exercise. Exercise especially allows time for your brain to relax and wander, helping to answer some of your most aggravating issues as well as plan without emotion. Mental sharpness is next and fully associated with your diet. This helps to build your endurance and energy so that attacking problems are not as daunting.
TIME
Time is critical and if you already struggled with time or life management you will seriously overload here. There are 24 hours in the day, so plan on sleeping about 4 – 6 hours, 5 days a week, with the hopes that you will get 1 or 2 days of 8-10 hours, helping the body catch up.
A couple biz tips:
- Check it only 3-5 times per day.
- Respond, file, create task, create appointment or delete every email per day. Leaving your inbox empty upon your end of day viewing is one key to a clear mind. Your inbox will truly never be empty, but this way you will prioritize quickly not allowing the proverbial 1000 email buildup, creating the inbox cluster F***.
- Don’t have emails pushed to your phone, check them at your convenience; phones are a tool to be managed, not the other way around.
- Don’t respond immediately to email, you set a standard and people will expect you to treat email like an instant message; IT IS NOT.
TO DO’s
- Find the tool that will communicate with your chosen email client and phone; this helps you to have access to your stuff whenever you need it.
- Or, utilize a killer notebook with printed calendars and tasks to be written on and updated on the fly…since that is how life happens.
- REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT.
FLEXIBILITY
- Be prepared to change and adjust your methods daily, even hourly depending on your business.
- Developing a solid personal “Flow” system takes time and practice; plug away daily and you will find yourself sleeping like a baby.
So…why the heck talk about these couple steps above? Perfecting a way to manage your business life, allows you to focus on your family life; the MOST important piece of any human!
A couple personal tips: (in this order)
#1 – SPOUSE TIME
I cannot express HOW important this is. Remember, you chose to be with this person through better or worse, so find little ways to show you still think about them constantly. Buy/pick cheap flowers for your kitchen, sit and listen to them speak about their day, ask questions and PAY ATTENTION! These are the little gifts you can give to your spouse daily. Capitalizing on connecting points are what will help weather the storms of crapola down the road.
As life improves, having the time and money to resurface into society for dinners and babysitters will be great. However, you need to cherish and be thankful for where you are today. This allows your mind and body to be open, ready and accept your new present. People that constantly say, “wait till you see my next…whatever” are never really happy with their present, and will never be. Guess what, the future is always the future and never attainable when that is all you look towards.
Be happy, present and mindful.
#2 – KIDO TIME
This is so much fun! They really help to alleviate the day to day stressors. Have you ever heard anything better than a “DADDY!” when you walk through the door? Nope! So come home, leave the shit behind, put your mommy or daddy hat on and have some fun!
If you don’t already have kids when you go down this route and plan to…just go ahead and make it happen. You planners out there are crazy to think you can will life to your command, won’t happen…at least not exactly. I will say that just figuring it out along the way has awesome benefits. And do you really think your kids will remember anything of the early years?
We basically jumped into the deep in and figured we would sink or swim. Right when we got into the thick of starting the business, we announced, “We’re pregnant again” and one of the first questions asked was, “are you just a glutton for punishment or what?” Absolutely! No time is ever perfect, so if you are an over planner, good luck ever finding happiness, because nothing is perfect and rarely if ever to plan. Plus, if you wait too long, you’ll be that couple in electric wheel chairs at your kids PTA meetings.
PRESENCE
Brings much of the above two (money and family) together. Being around is nice, but not truly being involved is easily detected, seen and down the road resented by your family.
How many times do you sit there nodding your head like a bobble doll? I bet you even think you are pretty convincing at times.
The nicest part of my day is walking through the garage, opening the door and being bombarded by people that love and care for me. No requests, no ideals placed upon, no expectations other than being present when you walk through that door. Put the phone down, turn the TV off and color a while…it is quite fun!
Why do people treat life as an emergency? You are not an ER doc, so I am pretty sure all your stuff will be there tomorrow. Your inbox is never really empty…even when you die!
One of my most favorite sayings to help lighten the load throughout an event is, “It’s Lunch and Dinner, Not Life or Death People!”
Don’t follow that traditional BS that states separate your business and personal life. This would be stupid; they are so intertwined, that if one is not functioning well, the other will suffer immensely! Work to bring them both in Harmony with your life goals, expectations and beliefs. You will live a much more peaceful life, no matter the stress level.
PS – People that state they are “self-made” are not lying; they are just misinformed. Everyone has had help along the way, whether they admit it/know it or not.
In: start up's · Tagged with: be present, business and personal life, family, money, start up's, time
